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| When it was Winter I felt safer because I knew at any moment, any time, I could go outside and get lost in the snow. The snow wouldn't make lies about anything or try to mask itself to pretend it wasn't cold, and that it wouldn't make me shiver. The snow was truthful, and I kind of miss it now.
Well, I'm glad SOME of my lovelies still read this thing. I heart you for that. My life's doing a bit better, not to much, but a bit. I just don't think about the things that make me really upset or lost right now. I'm not ready for them....even though, as demonstraited by my shitty ass attitude today....all these little things that are bothering me are kinda finally coming to the surface. Maybe I'll face them before I sleep tonight.
No one can see your quiet tears in the dark. Because then to everyone else they were never really there.
Well, I guess my biggest thing right now that isn't me at all is....I actually do get jelous! *gasp, gasp* Believe it or not I've had this emotion way to much lately. I just want to stab it and watch it bleed. Jeez, why get jelous? Envy is such a stupid thing. I'm going to go kill that emtion....give me about....1 minute....
Later.
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| Well, who knows who reads these things any more so I'll write my little heart out until I feel a little better....
I'm just so damned confused about EVERYTHING. Life doesn't make the least bit of sense anymore. It did about 3 hours ago, but now it just doesn't. I was satisfied with everything those few hours ago, and now it just took a little thought to fully understand that I am not actually satisfied with a couple of things going on right now. Relationship satus? Pfff, what am I really waiting around for any more? Honestly, so many good things just go on by, and I turn and watch them go without even realizing it. Thats ridiculous. What the hell is my problem? I don't know...I've got to figure this one out I guess. Maybe relationships are just a dumb title thing. I don't know. I kinda miss them. But at the same time I'm just sick of the same shit, and the same little cliche: "I'm different from all of those guys." Blah, I dunno know where that came from, thats a past and done deal.
WHO KNOWS. Thats just dumb, now that I think of it. Maybe I'll go back and erase that little sentence later....
Well, next topic. Friends? What are some of these psycho people, who I will mention...I used to adore completely, doing? What is happening to some of them? Its not many...maybe just one...maybe two, (I'm leaning towards only one I think). I never really leaned back to look at the big picture until this year, and it kinda was disappointing I guess. How do you go from being okay, to hating each other? Well, I don't know if I'm hated, but I sure as hell hate. Maybe not hate...for lacking of a better term, "Can't stand."
A little ridiculous how you can be close for some time and then realize all you do is compete with each other for one thing or another. Arrogance, perhaps on both parties. But I never really considered myself to be overly confident in many areas. I always thought I was a little to insecure, but to level headed to show it. Maybe not. Well, fuck it. Spoiled a friendship rotten, rotted and molded to the point where I just want to take out the trash.
Life's a interesting play on a decomposing stage. I wonder when the floorboards will rot.
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| Hey guys, long time no see. I've been pretty busy lately, but I guess I'll swing by for a quick update. Nothings really changed I guess. Everything is still very fantastic and awesome. Though, I could do without some minor setbacks. A few guys...mebbe...Of course getting rid of these few guys entails a corkscrew, broken bottle, and a flag pole...but lets not get into that.  ....Anonymous boy is awesome though.
Hell, thats about it. Peace.
I <3You!
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| Oooh my...I haven't updated in forever. But, my life's been sooooo great! I mean everyone has their ups and downs...but my ups are just fantastic  . I'll find time to explain later! Peace out guys. | | |
| Brittany and I slept over at Nate's house yesterday! It was soooo much fun. Omg. Nate is so psycho! (hehe we love you Nate- o) We made Candy Land Surprise ( a really awesome cake) Let's just say, we spiced up the ingrediants ALOT haha.
1. All the cake ingrediants. (It was a white cake)
2. Strawberry syrup
3. Grapes
4. Cinnamon
5. Lucky Charms
6. Pankcake syrup
7. Whip cream
8. Sprinkles
9 oreos
10 jelly
Did I miss anything? I don't know! lol
We also painted, acted silly and dumb and it was just so much fun. We tickled Nate ALOT omg, I thought he was going to drop dead. We went skating to. I'm getting better at it, and I'm going to try backwards skating more! Toodles!
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